Just sitting home one Monday night with nothing to do
I ate a can of Hormel Chili and a dish of ice cream too
I washed my socks last Thursday and cleaned out both of my combs
The last thing I wanted was to waste my time at home
It was then that I remembered a sign on the VFW wall
That on Mon Wed and Thursday night it was a Bingo Hall
I put on a clean t shirt and hopped into the car
Thought I would take a chance since it wasn’t that far
I walked into a room of bright lights and long table
With a poi pourri of people who were for sure a feast of fables
I finally found a folding chair without a coat or purse
It was kind of back behind a pole I guess I could do worse
For sitting right across from me I could not believe my eyes
Was the most attractive lady even though she was queen size
She had a crocodile purse with matching cigarette case
And what was a super sized felt tip marker adorned with Elvis’ face
She had her cards all set in rows aligned from north to south
With a beer firmly held in one hand and a cigarette in her mouth
I tried to get her attention so I could kind of flirt
I figured I would impress her with my newly washed NASCAR T-shirt
I knew I had no chance and kind of felt like a sucker
When she too the cigarette from her mouth and yelled “Bingo Muther fucker”
I had no chance, no chance at all I know I couldn’t compete
So I picked up all of my cards and rose to my feet,
I walked across the parking lot to my waiting car
Glad my trip back home was not all that far,
I walked into the kitchen grabbed a bag of chips and a beer
Plopped down on my recliner happy I was there.
I guess this is where I belong not out in the bright lights
After all I came home just in time American Idol is on tonight…
I ate a can of Hormel Chili and a dish of ice cream too
I washed my socks last Thursday and cleaned out both of my combs
The last thing I wanted was to waste my time at home
It was then that I remembered a sign on the VFW wall
That on Mon Wed and Thursday night it was a Bingo Hall
I put on a clean t shirt and hopped into the car
Thought I would take a chance since it wasn’t that far
I walked into a room of bright lights and long table
With a poi pourri of people who were for sure a feast of fables
I finally found a folding chair without a coat or purse
It was kind of back behind a pole I guess I could do worse
For sitting right across from me I could not believe my eyes
Was the most attractive lady even though she was queen size
She had a crocodile purse with matching cigarette case
And what was a super sized felt tip marker adorned with Elvis’ face
She had her cards all set in rows aligned from north to south
With a beer firmly held in one hand and a cigarette in her mouth
I tried to get her attention so I could kind of flirt
I figured I would impress her with my newly washed NASCAR T-shirt
I knew I had no chance and kind of felt like a sucker
When she too the cigarette from her mouth and yelled “Bingo Muther fucker”
I had no chance, no chance at all I know I couldn’t compete
So I picked up all of my cards and rose to my feet,
I walked across the parking lot to my waiting car
Glad my trip back home was not all that far,
I walked into the kitchen grabbed a bag of chips and a beer
Plopped down on my recliner happy I was there.
I guess this is where I belong not out in the bright lights
After all I came home just in time American Idol is on tonight…