Bingo

Just sitting home one Monday night with nothing to do

I ate a can of Hormel Chili and a dish of ice cream too

I washed my socks last Thursday and cleaned out both of my combs

The last thing I wanted was to waste my time at home

It was then that I remembered a sign on the VFW wall

That on Mon Wed and Thursday night it was a Bingo Hall

I put on a clean t shirt and hopped into the car

Thought I would take a chance since it wasn’t that far

I walked into a room of bright lights and long table

With a poi pourri of people who were for sure a feast of fables

I finally found a folding chair without a coat or purse

It was kind of back behind a pole I guess I could do worse

For sitting right across from me I could not believe my eyes

Was the most attractive lady even though she was queen size

She had a crocodile purse with matching cigarette case

And what was a super sized felt tip marker adorned with Elvis’ face

She had her cards all set in rows aligned from north to south

With a beer firmly held in one hand and a cigarette in her mouth

I tried to get her attention so I could kind of flirt

I figured I would impress her with my newly washed NASCAR T-shirt

I knew I had no chance and kind of felt like a sucker

When she too the cigarette from her mouth and yelled “Bingo Muther fucker”

I had no chance, no chance at all I know I couldn’t compete

So I picked up all of my cards and rose to my feet,

I walked across the parking lot to my waiting car

Glad my trip back home was not all that far,

I walked into the kitchen grabbed a bag of chips and a beer

Plopped down on my recliner happy I was there.

I guess this is where I belong not out in the bright lights

After all I came home just in time American Idol is on tonight…